Nasty Past. Or Not.

Nasty Past. Or Not.

How to tell if you’ve overcome the nasty past. Or not.

When it comes to healing from the past it’s a long road. It doesn’t have to be. Coaching really helps speedy-up the process. It’s tough to do it alone or we would have already done it, right?

So, if these indicators aren’t rock-solidly evident in your life – then keep going! The healing is astounding & once it happens it’s like an awakening to the world around you. Bam, you’re living, breathing, same as before – but it’s a new world you’re looking at! A new Being you’re living in!

Here’s how it goes:

The morning birds outside your window chirp so loud they aggravate you, but not the kind of bother it used to be. You know, the chirps & shrills that come to a point – then what you really want to do is plug your ears & pull the covers back over your head after you slam the window shut for a little more of that ugly silence. No sleep as you had hoped. This precious event is just too much chaos for an already chaotic mind. But when you’ve healed & awakened your Soul the annoying little birdies are just adorable things that tease the heck out of you & bring an oh-so-marvelous smirk to your lips all the same! The beauty of them actually becomes loud too… but it’s okay because there’s no more chaos in the mind hogging up all the room & filling it with the noise of the past.

Past trauma & pain

Past trauma & pain (of any kind, it’s different for everyone) wreaks havoc on the mind, body, & Soul of most every human. It’s really hard to move on from this life free of it. But the healing story is really the heart of this short piece.

What does it look like when you have fully healed? What does it feel like? And how would you truly know the healing took place, deep down at the core, where it’s most needed?

Here’s a couple of ways I’ve learned to recognize healing & how to spot that total freedom to become a new & weightless, soul-led person.

  1. The affect is gone. Memories, flashbacks, & endless hours of replaying an event at the hopes to change the outcome or hopes to understand it away leave you. They evaporate. You go from basing too many of your decisions in life off of those memories that affected you at a cellular level to no longer giving them much thought. Surprisingly, this feels very natural. And that’s because the events did not break you. Those cells know exactly how to correct their duplication processes. The decisions you make now are driven by your true values, morals, & the appreciations within you.
  2.  When you notice your choices have become in-destructive to your well-being, you are healed. You end up choosing the light path over the dark, a loving partner over a mooch, & time with family & friends over another drink. Whatever it looks like has changed & you make decisions from the heart & soul verses from the mind.
  3. What happens when a new trauma comes? That’s alright, because a healed person stands on top of any destructive event that washes their way. They’re not IN it, squirming & struggling for the surface, but instead using it as a tool to remind them of what they overcame before. Avoiding & detaching from the event doesn’t happen, but instead a submersion into the feelings & emotions of pain will occur. That doesn’t sound too happy but a healed Soul handles it like royalty! Someone I know & have learned from calls this Sovereignty. Un-fuck-withable-ness. Once submersed you know exactly how to reach the sunlight at the surface & you even get there with a little more breath still in your lungs than ever before.
  4. You are healed when you experience negativity with a neutral point of view. It no longer activates your past. The emotion processing mechanisms within you are stimulated versus shutting down as a new experience plays out. If the emotion is dealt with nothing can touch you with too much anguish. Healed people can handle the heck out of their trying times & remain neutral at their own & other’s drama/trauma.

These are not sure-fire forms of proof, but they are extremely common in the end-game of becoming healed from past trauma. I learned how to get to here by working with a life coach. Behavioral therapy didn’t work on me.

Medications were a toss-up, but came with side effects of course, some of which topped the actual trauma. With a life coach I was able to try something new, called Soul-Work.

Not all life coaches’ practice this, but mine did, & thank God for that!

My Soul-Work began with a hand-written note, a journal entry, if you will. Delved further into a deep connection with the driving force behind every living creature, & then a little bit of recapping the past. Not too much though, because past is in the past for a reason. And then finally ended with a beautiful & unwavering desire for alignment.

In other words, all my ducks were finally in a row & my soul was finally leading the way. I was healed! We are resilient beings, no different than a little baby.

Babies are so resilient, aren’t they? Kids. They recover quickly.

But each & every one of us still has that kid inside just waiting for healing to begin!

Hire a life coach! It’s cheaper than therapy, drugs, alcohol, or your children’s future – you get my drift. Hire one that brings about your “inner overcomer”.

I see you, feel you, & know your struggle.

And I KNOW you are RESILIENT – so let’s go!! And if this text helped you realize that you are truly healed, then damn! You’re golden!! Just like that. So worth the work, huh?

Until next time – have a good time,  ~Melissa

About the Author

Melissa Nicole

About the Author |

Melissa Nicole was born & raised a Michigander. | Her roots in the Great Lakes State have helped develop her love for nature & Mother Earth. She identifies as a free-spirit & self-care guru, as well as a Life Coach student with the Sovereign Coaching School. Melissa is married with two young girls & a few fur-babies too! Her entrepreneurial spirit & desire to be of service to others has been nurtured by a background in Social Work, a narrative of having triumphed over childhood trauma, & a passion for soul-work/spiritual alignment, with a whole lot of vivacious attitude towards life! Melissa Nicole’s dream of coaching & helping others overcome life’s obstacles appears to be manifesting beautifully as she carves her path in the world of social media!

You can connect with Melissa Nicole via Facebook and/ or Melissa Nicole via Instagram

 

June NEW Moon and Sagittarius FULL Moon

Do you do a little moon worship like me?

If you’re new to using the moon phases in your life & are curious hop over to this site for “June’s Gemini New Moon & Sagittarius Full Moon: The Universe Is Presenting You With New Opportunities” and see for yourself what the moon has in store for us for June! Just a tad interesting!!

There’s a certain kind of bond I have with nature & the universe. I have learned how to use both in my spirituality. This isn’t easy for me to write about either (well, its not THAT hard. #SorryNotSorry ) but I still love to talk about it.

Coming from an upbringing with friends/family where astrology, witchy practices, “out there” beliefs aren’t taken seriously can be intimidating for some when you start to take what’s been inside of you to a public forum. That’s what I am doing. Maybe it just feels weird to talk about more & more not because it’s taboo to some, but because it resonates so deep with me. I’m very used to keeping those deep thoughts & beliefs private. Safe inside so my spirituality is kept sacred, & not made into a joke.

But it’s just a little insight. I run with it wholeheartedly but others find it “woo woo”. That’s okay. To each there own. But I know so many that find this stuff to be tons of fun. If only they valued it the way I do, that fun could be so much more. There’s absolutely no shame in having become better connected with our Creator through my out there beliefs. I’d rather connect than not, right! Ugh, these words don’t even do justice for my faith, but it’s a start.

Check out Full Article & share something interesting you learned in the comments below – if you want!

I’d be happy to answer any taboo questions you have too!

I am the one & only Melissa Hasenbank and you can connect or follow me on Facebook here & Instagram here.

Until next time – have a good time! ~M

About the Author |

Melissa Nicole was born & raised a Michigander. | Her roots in the Great Lakes State have helped develop her love for nature & Mother Earth. She identifies as a free-spirit & self-care guru, as well as a Life Coach student with the Sovereign Coaching School. Melissa is married with two young girls & a few fur-babies too! Her entrepreneurial spirit & desire to be of service to others has been nurtured by a background in Social Work, a narrative of having triumphed over childhood trauma, & a passion for soul-work/spiritual alignment, with a whole lot of vivacious attitude towards life! Melissa Nicole’s dream of coaching & helping others overcome life’s obstacles appears to be manifesting beautifully as she carves her path in the world of social media!

You can connect with Melissa Nicole via Facebook and/ or Melissa Nicole via Instagram

Short on Wisdom

Short on Wisdom | I read this morning a dear sweet message…it felt so true?  It certainly has been true for me in the past and in some area’s still true.  It went something like this…

we are short on wisdom when we cannot put aside an ordinary routine so that we can

♥️ #rest (self-care)

♥️ #evaluate (look at patterns or obsessions of the mind that no longer serve us)

♥️ #change (implement new devotion & new habits)

♥️ #meditate (quiet the busy mind in a very noisy world)

True wisdom can really inspire, move, change & motivate us IF (and only IF); we’re able to take them into our heart & soul & truly implement them (as the life & business enhancing resources they’re designed to be.)

They (rest, evaluation, change & meditation) ONLY help us IF we are able to implement into our daily life & lifestyle.

That’s the tricky part‼️ Implementation‼️ Creating a NEW‼️ way of being & doing.

I don’t have it all figured out YET (I guess that’s the essence life being called a journey.)  I can share that I’ve never been closer to doing & being what FEELS SO GOOD to my heart & Soul.   Which is why – I’m sharing with you!

Please accept my invitation to few resources where you’re able to experience the essence (have a feel good taste test) of what WE are doing that is SO INCREDIBLY “Life & Business” changing.  At first sight you’ll probably think “I’m not doing that.  I’m not bubbly like that.  I’m not into this or that.”  All the things – to be honest – I did – and said. Okay add – I’m too old to do that.  Smile.  Don’t judge.  Don’t dismiss.  Every bit of this information, the teachings, the energy is designed for you to “take in” and process.  Process in a way – that you’re able to make it your own.  Your way.  In your time.  Completely designed with customization on your behalf, on your Souls behalf and on your hearts behalf.

Bring an open mind, evaluate, sit with this information for a month or so and evaluate ALL THE THINGS so you too can co-create, co-design, customize & co-collaborate with some of the best teachers & teachings in all the nation!

3 Resources to Get You Started

2 Completely Complimentary

Soul + Social Tribe (Private FB Group)

Merry Meditation www.MerryMeditation.com (must register – starts Dec 10 & runs until Dec 24 Christmas Eve)

SpeakEasy.live | Private Coaching Community (Click my Speakeasy Partner Link for 5-day Trial +++)

Big LOVE, I hope you’ll expand your beautiful mindset and join us.

It FEELS SO GOOD to implement NEW‼️ ways of seeing & being.

Theresa

Founder | Talk of the Town LOVE

Partner & Guru IT | SpeakEasy.live

SpeakEasy with Virginia

#2000SoulFriends

Theresa’s Calendar: Schedule Your Conversational Clarity Call

Couples, Conversations & Co-Creating

Couples, Conversations & Co-Creating

If you’re ready to deepen, develop and re-define the important things in life – you’re ready for this – a couple-oriented learning process.

The best part – it’s on the phone from home – for one hour – for just 6 weeks – in your boxers, I mean pj’s, I mean sweats! ~Theresa

With communication re-defined we’re more able to find the Sacred and Elevated Approach to connection and/or re-connecting.  Walking couples through the process individually and then collectively together on the phone – is not only productive – it is pure joy.

Can you imagine?

Can you imagine one hour on the phone weekly for six weeks – as an easy peasy – in your pj’s – approach to revitalize, enhance and refresh your relationship?  A real, private (just us), confidential conversation – wrapped up in convenience with long-term tools designed to clear the crap that holds us back…getting us up and out of the ditch and back on track! 

Your relationship can have more fun, ease, less stress, more love and joy plus way more play.  It’s time.

Your relationship is important and Sacred – you’ll learn tools together within these conversations that allow you to co-create – a set of – foundational core principles that you’ll have forever – going forward.  Get ready 2019 – here we come!

Chocked full of lifestyle tools, conversational tools that are really worthy of passing on to your children and grandchildren – co-creating a legacy by wrapping your heart around deeper, more beautiful, softer, more understanding, compassionate conversations.

Investing Time, Money and Heart

IF IF IF investing in yourself, investing as a couple feels good to you,  feels like something you need or want, if it resonates with you and most importantly,  feels fair – for all involved.  Fair meaning – the energy, teachings and intellectual properties I bring to the conversation and the energy, time, money and heart you bring to the conversation – if it feels good and ONLY if it feels good in your heart – choose to move forward.

Simple Enrollment BIG Blessing

Simply send an email to Theresa@TalkoftheTownNWA.com with 360 Turn Around Couples in the subject line.

Couples $540 – with $200 Blessing for the first {{{{ 5 }}}} to sign up | $340 Wowzer! – 360 Turn Around Couples / EXPIRES December 15, 2018

Can you schedule a consultation or clarity call before committing? Yes!  Just hit this link – and book a time on my calendar!

NOTE: my definition of Sacred – dedication to some person, purpose or cause; a sense of right, good and holy.

In Appreciation, Theresa

Additional Support

Group Coaching PLUS/1 on 1 Coaching here >>> SpeakEasy.com Black Friday Blessing  EXPIRES MONDAY MIDNIGHT 11/26/18 >>> I do have a partner link that offers an additional 10% off over and above this special but must be sent privately (vs. public.)  Email me for that private link

Career Advice Women Receive…and Why You Shouldn’t Follow It

The Four Most Common Pieces of Career Advice Women Receive… and Why You Shouldn’t Follow It….
By: Alison Nail-Malone, Executive Coach & Founder of Malone Consultants Group

#1 Leave your job if you’re not passionate

Alright, I’m not saying to stay in a mind & heart suck job. However, I see WAAYYY too many women beat themselves up because they: a) aren’t working a job that fulfills what they are truly passionate about; and/or b) have no real clue what they are passionate about and how to do ‘that’ as a career.

Here’s the deal ….

You can ‘work a job’ that pays your bills and have the things you are passionate about outside of work. AND yes, you absolutely can have a career that includes what you are passionate and purposeful about.

Take your time to find what you are passionate about. Don’t just check out because right now this role doesn’t fit you. Find small ways in your job and your life outside of office that starts to feed your soul.

If you already know what your passionate about…begin your research on how to include that in your career. Then ask for those opportunities at work; but also keep your eye out for the open career opportunities too.

#2 Network, Network, Network

Seriously this is one that makes me crazy when experienced professionals say, “Network, network, network” to build your career credibility. It’s a waste of time!

Ultimately, your network should be made up of people who will be, or currently are, your advocate. Your professional network need to be the people who know what you do, how you contribute and how they can tell your story no matter who they talk to.

Your professional network should be the people you are an advocate for as well. But make sure…there is a balance between these two groups.

#3 Save it for the annual review

Ok, maybe this one really rubs me the wrong way. How many times have you been surprised about the feedback you received in your annual evaluation? I don’t know about you… but it’s happened almost every time I’ve had an annual review!

But …

Admittedly I have also been guilty, in the past, of not providing real feedback (both positive and constructive) until an annual review (or maybe not at all).

Let’s commit together to something right here. No more of that. Take a proactive approach in receiving and giving feedback on a regular basis. Perhaps you need to just start with once a quarter. Maybe you need to be committed to once a month. Whatever that is, commit to owning your career in a big way…and feedback is one of the most vital components of that.

#4 Stay at least a year

I know I just eluded that you shouldn’t leave your job. However, give yourself permission to leave when its time.

My clients, and other professional women I am connected with, will notoriously stay ‘committed’ to a job … even when they KNOW the job is not right.

Most likely you don’t have the luxury to jump ship without another boat to drive; AND you do have the RIGHT to explore and interview for new roles.

Do not limit your growth to time. If it’s not right, it’s not right. Don’t waste your time.

Your time…your talent…your presence is valuable. Step into that knowingness!

When you ask for career advice, first take it with a grain of salt and then consider it carefully before you follow it. It could either be the worst piece of career advice, or the best. Find out which before you bet your future on it.

Finding a tribe of other women heading on the same journey where you want to go. If you have not found a group of people, I created this FREE Facebook community of ambitious and high-performing women who are coming together to position themselves as top talent to advance in their careers quickly and with purpose. CLICK HERE TO JOIN THIS FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Alison Nail-Malone is an Executive Coach, Intentional Speaker, and Corporate Leadership Expert; and runs Malone Consultants Group.  Get her free leadership article by clicking here.

 

Millennial Gifts 84.6 Strong

Millennial Gifts 84.6 Strong | Have you ever scrolled through your Facebook feed to see a #transformationtuesday? Or a picture of someone’s super food salad? Or even the cliché selfie at the gym? Everyone, right? Millennial’s have a knack for making changes, mostly when it comes to health and wellness. Since we are the largest living generation, at 84.6 million strong, we seem to put a target on our head for businesses focused on a healthy lifestyle. 

I came across a quote the other day a friend posted and it struck a chord with me. “Fitness is 20% workout and 80% nutrition. You can’t outrun your fork!” How clever and unbelievably true is that? If you spend hours a week at the gym but after, swing by your local donut shop, you’re going nowhere. If you Google ways to lose weight or get fit, most articles will talk about your caloric intake. If you put in less than you take out or burn, you should be shedding the pounds, right? Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. If you eat 1,200 worth of carrots and work out to burn 1,500, most would expect to see a lower number on the scale but, that’s not always the case. Where does your body get the protein, iron, and other vitamins it needs to sustain itself? This is where superfood comes into play.

A superfood that seems to be catching much hype is Moringa. Good Morning America even named it the superfood of the year. One cup of the leaves from a Moringa tree gives you 25x more iron than spinach, 12x more vitamin C than oranges, 15x the potassium of bananas, 17x more calcium than milk, 9x more protein than yogurt and 10x more vitamin A than carrots.  It even helps the body rid itself of toxins and free radicals. If that’s not a superfood worth raving about, I don’t know what is! We live in a fast paced society where preparing and cooking meals with real, nutrient dense foods is simply impractical. Thankfully, there are very convenient ways to consume Moringa, and let’s be real, we are all about convenience.

Another way Millennial’s are living a healthy life style is currently sitting in your bathroom. Of all the places in your house, it seems like the most unlikely but you’d be surprised. Have you ever read and googled the ingredients in your deodorant? Your face wash? Shampoo and conditioner? How about your kids’ toothpaste? All of these products touch or are absorbed into the biggest organ on your body, your skin! Even the products you clean your bathroom with that have harsh smells, most of which, recommend wearing gloves when using. Millennial’s have started taking a more natural approach. Essential oils have multiple uses and are replacing everyday household products. From helping with headache relief, weight loss, replacing toxic multipurpose cleaner and boosting immunity, these oils are becoming an essential part of a Millennial’s life.

I am proud to be a Millennial in the business of helping others learn how to create a life unlimited and rid their lives of toxins. We are truly disrupting the status quo with the natural health revolution.   Next article I’ll bring the the mindset magic that makes a difference regarding being a leader, influencing others and accelerating while living a beautifully designed life and business.  Meanwhile don’t forget to follow me on Facebook here.

Our generation believes that profit and purpose can go hand-in-hand. Unlike previous generations, whose pursuits of money and excess are well documented, Millennial’s have far different goals. It is no longer simply about making money, and that is an extraordinary shift in thinking.

I am an entrepreneur and my efforts are driven by making an impact, building dreams, and helping others to reach a beautiful life, too.  Let’s connect.

Lindsey Conti | Entrepreneur | Millennial | Leader

Nature is the Best Supplement for Leadership

Nature is the Best Supplement for Leadership

Research shows that the practice of spending time in nature is good for your mind, body, and spirit. But how does nature impact our wellbeing?

As an Executive Coach for emerging women leaders, I often hear my clients ask, “What can I do to feel less stressed and feel better in an ever-changing, ever-demanding career and life?”  (Ever feel that way?)

One of the most effective, low-cost ways to recharge your fatigued brain is nature therapy, or what is commonly called, “forest therapy”.  A growing body of science is showing that nature is good for you. That includes spending time in nature, but it even means looking at natural scenes out a window.

The basics behind the “nature is healthy” concept goes back decades. A classic study found that hospital patients recovered from surgery quicker if their room offered a view of nature compared to those who looked out on a brick wall.

Experts in both natural science and psychotherapy are touting the effects of nature on the human body and mind, as well. According to psychotherapist and owner of East Sooke Counselling, based in Canada, Sarah Nakatsuka, ‘walking in nature’ is part of treatment for her clients and that connecting to nature is a wonderful way feel better – mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Spending time in natural spaces can boost the immune system, positively change moods, and may reverse muscle tension and decrease blood pressure. Furthermore, time in nature or viewing nature scenes increases our ability to pay attention. It also provides a respite for our overactive minds, refreshing us for new tasks.

“Forest Therapy” is one exercise that not only do I regularly practice, but also encourage my clients to incorporate in their daily routines to feel less stressed and restore psychological wellbeing, meaningfulness, and vitality.

So…literally…take a hike!

In the Northwest Arkansas and surrounding area, we are fortunate enough to multiple ways to have easy access to trails, parks, and places to enjoy nature scenes. Here are just a few of my favorites to explore whether you are new or local to our area.

Botanical Garden of the Ozarks

Tanyard Creek Nature Trail

Hobbs State Park

Compton Gardens & Conference Center

Here’s an interesting video on the importance and science of grounding – Down To Earth.

Alison Nail-Malone is an Executive Coach, speaker, and corporate leadership consultant; and runs Malone Consultants Group.

Get her free leadership article by clicking here.

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Alison will also be a featured speaker in the near future sharing her wisdom and insights via Wisdom Workshops.  A Co-Ed community event designed for connection, growth and inspiration.  Alison will be in attendance at our next Wisdom Workshop Saturday, March 31st.  You can learn more about each Speaker here.

If you would like to write for Front Page News at TalkoftheTownNWA.com please let us know…Only requirements are that the articles be about people, places, things that matter and are of service to our Northwest Arkansas community!

~Theresa | Connector & All About You Accelerator  | TalkoftheTownNWA.com | 479.633.GROW

What No One Told Me … Before I Started Managing People

What No One Told Me … Before I Started Managing People

Did you know that over 90% of managers state that they have never been trained how to manage their direct reports?

Managers are expected to ‘know’ intuitively how to lead, inspire, and have direct conversations with their employees. As an Executive Coach, I often hear managers say, “No one ever showed me how to do this!” or “I am just winging this!” This lack of support and truly lack of knowledge often stunts the growth and leadership influence of a manager and can negatively affect the team.

When I became a manager of 17 employees, I made many mistakes at first. After a very candid and tough conversation with an employee I had to terminate, I received feedback from my team and the ex-employee that I had not communicated clearly about performance and expectations. This hit hard because I thought I had, and I assumed that my team knew what was expected of them when it came to performance. After all, I had to figure it out on my own and promoted quickly because of that. Why couldn’t they do that?

Unlike some roles, which can be studied and prepared for in advance, leading a group of people can best be learned on the job; as well as proactively pursuing knowledge. You will make mistakes. Embrace them and learn from them. Here are three key lessons I learned that I wished someone would have told me about being a manager.

1.     There is power in letting your team members do the thinking. In Kevin Crenshaw’s book, “NeverBoss: Great Leadership by Letting Go”, a leader inspires thinking by asking great questions that invite feeling, thinking, and action. “When people feel, think, and act on their own, they start to become leaders.” This is particularly true when you have to address mistakes. Mr. Crenshaw proposes asking these questions to engage conversation and brainstorming:

  • Tell me more about it…
  • What do you see?
  • Would A or B work better?
  • What is the standard or procedure?
  • What do you think?
  • What do you recommend?

When you engage your team to think for themselves and search for their own answers, there is a higher degree of ownership for solutions as well as follow through. As leaders who desire to be the very best, we tend to take on too much. Your role is to let them shine and succeed. In turn, this reflects positively on you as a leader and key contributor to your organization.

2.     Don’t aim to be liked. Aim to be transformational. Being liked is not the same as being respected by your team. Often managers have a tough time with this one. It requires a certain level of courage and self-awareness.

Transformational managers are models of integrity and fairness, set clear goals, stirs the emotions of people, and inspires people to reach for greatness (based on their terms and the company objectives).

Easy, right?

Not really! However, there are literally thousands of books, podcasts, and digital resources available on becoming a transformational leader.

Some of my favorites are:

Radical Candor – Book written by Kim Scott

Coaching for Leaders – Podcast by Dave Stachowiak

TED Talk: Tribal Leadership – Speaker David Logan

3.     Managers coach, not tell. Coaching your people helps build rapport, supports them through business challenges, develops self-awareness, and finds solutions. It also helps you understand how people think about their work, their careers, and their relationships with the organization. Coaching also helps you to improve a person’s performance and deal with issues before these become problems. This skill takes a lot of time and thought.

Daniel Goleman wrote an article for the Harvard Business Review Leadership that Gets Results, in which he characterized the coaching style of leadership as one that

 “…help[s] employees identify their unique strengths and weaknesses and tie them to their personal and career aspirations. They encourage employees to establish long-term development goals and help them conceptualize a plan for attaining them. They make agreements with their employees about their role and responsibilities in enacting development plans, and they give plentiful instruction and feedback…”

Management can be demanding and consume a lot of time. The best managers embrace challenges and build trust with each employee one day at a time. However, being the kind of manager described above also brings unmatchable rewards: positively impacts the lives of people, grows the business through productive teams, and enriches your career journey and purpose.

Alison Nail-Malone is an Executive Coach, speaker, and corporate leadership consultant; and runs Malone Consultants Group. Get her free leadership article by clicking here.

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If you would like to write for Front Page News at TalkoftheTownNWA.com please let us know…Only requirements are that the article be about people, places, things that matter and are of service to our Northwest Arkansas community!

~Theresa | Connector & All About You Accelerator  | TalkoftheTownNWA.com | 479.633.GROW

 

Five Ways to Cope with Manager Loneliness

Five Ways to Cope with Manager Loneliness | Alison Nail-Malone

Did you notice yourself feeling lonelier once you started managing people or people who were your peers? The price of leadership can feel lonely but is also a universal human response to taking on the responsibility of others and new business objectives.

Think about it. When you first step into a new management role, you’ve drastically multiplied the number of people you need to make happy. The higher you climb up the ladder, the harder you have to focus on proving to your team and clients to be loyal to you and the company. You are judged more severely. Your metrics of success increases. Your words, moods, and actions also have a serious impact on the mental state of your team. And the success of your leadership style typically rests solely influenced by what each team member thinks good management is; and as a leader, you often have fewer work people (or work friends) to “hang” with than you did before.

I bet this may leave you, at times, longing for more simpler times.

Sound familiar?

There is no one right way to avoid these feelings, but throughout my own career and as I coach corporate leaders, I have discovered five effective ways you can dodge the isolation trap.

Accept reality.  Simply acknowledging feelings of loneliness or isolation can be a relief in itself. Constantly denying these emotions in exchange for a false sense of self-assurance is exhausting. Leaders should take a moment each day to process and accept how complex their responsibilities can be. The more accepting a leader is of their reality, the easier it will be to seek and accept support in dealing with it.

Don’t fall into the pitfall of expecting gratitude. This is a common trap for managers who believe they need to go above and beyond in order to help their team through their personal issues. Leaders sometimes get their feelings hurt after overextending themselves for their direct reports, particularly when they receive no gratitude or recognition in return.

Find that one person to offload on. Sounds easy but it is not. Spouses, romantic partners and the like are not exactly whom I am talking about. They have the best intentions; however, they may not always be the most objective. Find a coach, a counselor, a mentor or someone in your trusted network to meet with monthly. They must possess impartiality and practice active listening.

Establish a peer group or a “personal board of advisors”. While this may take some time up front to build, this will make a positive difference. Your personal board of advisors are people who are most likely to understand the pressures that your title (CEO, VP, Director, Sr. Manager, etc.) experiences. They may possess the same titles or titles similar to yours. Spend time with other leaders from different walks of life. Meet with them at least once a quarter if not monthly. Collaboratively discuss the challenges, brainstorm new ideas, and celebrate the wins.

Pick one challenge or low hanging fruit that you can easily accomplish and take action. Being in a leadership role can often be daunting with the day-to-day responsibilities you need to accomplish and supervising a team. Choose one challenge, or a low-hanging opportunity, a month or even quarterly. Managers are tasked with big project and goals. Having a win that can be achieved quickly will help build confidence and strengthen your sense of accomplishment; particularly in those times, you may feel alone as a manager.

Anyone who has stepped into a leadership role knows that the less-than-positive feelings that come with authority are often unexpected. Leaders tend to go to great lengths to maintain a façade of valiant confidence to conceal insecurities. In today’s time of high-stakes business, leaders cannot afford to ignore and not deal with doubts.

Manager loneliness needn’t be a taboo subject. Like related issues of stress and anxiety, being open and proactively dealing with it will lessen the hidden toll it takes. And that will be a good thing for leaders and a good thing for businesses, too.

Author | Consultant | Alison Nail-Malone

Alison Nail-Malone is an Executive Coach, speaker, and corporate leadership consultant; and runs Malone Consultants Group. Get her free leadership article by clicking here.

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~Theresa | Spreading Sweet & Salty Love at | TalkoftheTownNWA.com | 479.633.GROW

 

 

Taking on 2018 as a Millennial

I am a Millennial who was raised in the traditional household where my parents both had successful corporate careers all the way until they were about 10-15 years from retirement, when suddenly, their positions were “eliminated”. I always expected that when I graduated college I would go out into the workforce and get a job and spend the next 30-40 years working for someone else and building their fortune. That was until I learned more about being an entrepreneur.

The Millennial generation inherited a flawed world and has a zeal to repair it that is unique to our generation. It is as if our generation has been hardwired to believe in the fierce urgency of now. Everything is about today. The moment. The instant. Millennial’s are an on-demand instant-gratification generation that has become emboldened by technology and molded by world events.

So if we don’t wait for anything in our lives – why should we wait when it comes to making a difference?

This generation believes that profit and purpose can go hand-in-hand. Unlike previous generations, whose pursuits of money and excess are well documented, Millennial’s have far different goals. It is no longer simply about making money, and that is an extraordinary shift in thinking.

I am an entrepreneur in the next trillion dollar industry, the Health and Wellness Industry. My efforts are driven by making an impact, building dreams, and helping others to reach a Life Unlimited. This Natural Health Revolution was founded on the idea that Life Unlimited is possible, which is based on 4 distinct pillars: Health, Wellness and Beauty, Financial and Time Freedom, Personal Development, and Active Lifestyle.

Click here to find me or follow on Facebook as I love to connect with like-minded individuals who are driven and focused on making a difference, a significant difference.  (Little Sweet Salty Secret I learned from Theresa – click the drop down on facebook follow – then click “see first”).

Connect soon!

Lindsey Conti | Entrepreneur | Millennial | Leader